just feeling like giving a chance to writing from university, I am still far too coherent for this weblog thing. sometimes I have a lot to publish but then as i get to the keyboard I have no clue, I have no choice of words, no phrase which could describe the bearing on my mind. sometimes I even get to hear myself panting so hard. I hear myself speaking German, but I do not get to document the words.
I feel so paralized, every half an hour I get a new feeling and new ideas about my life and what I want to do with it. I picked engineering over other majors I adored so greatly only due to job oppotunities and now one I know is that even if I graduate as the to0p student over here I would never ever be able to make an engineer. I am so pissed off. I just try to keep the idea of grasping the qualifications regardless of what ever I might desire to do for me.
I am left on my own, I am left with nothing to be done for me, I am left like a poor little thing.

je ne fume plus
je ne reve plus
je suis seule sans toi
je suis laide sans toi...
... je suis fatiguee
je suis epuisee...
et je suis malade
parfetement malade...