homeless marguerites - Part 13

Johann was having a short talk with a marguerite on the sofa in the living room when the door clicked open. In the noon silence with closed eyes he listened carefully, it sounded like someone carefully opening the door with the keys; it must have been one of the Lutzs or Bernhard, they must have brought some groceries, in vain though for he was unable to eat anything but marguerites. He got up and sited on the sofa leaning back he opened his eyes when he found Annie in front of him to his surprise.
Yet he was not that surprised and also unable to demonstrate any feelings at his off time.
Actually, what happened looked more as though Annie had come back home after shopping, as if done every day, to find Johann on the sofa whispering to the marguerite in his hand. Her arrival made no change, like what happens too often to be noticed.
Annie put what she had brought on the table and she herself sat at the table watching Johann whispering for a long time. Once in a while she believed to have understood vague words he was saying.
“What are you telling it?” she asked after a while, which was fully ignored by Johann. So she sat there in silence watching him some more. “Aren’t you telling me what you are talking about?” she asked again. But Johann did not seem to be in the same Dresden where Annie was.
“Nun glaube ich, sie wirklich zu hören.Verrückt, oder?” Annie heard him say clearly this time. She got up, went to the sofa, sat there beside him, touched him on the shoulder and softly called him: “Johann, I am here.” Johann looked at her in disbelief, as if he wondered, weather it was hallucinations or the real Annie Anderson in front of him.
That was when Annie found out that there was indeed a long way to go. When a couple of hours later as Johann refused to even taste the chocolate Annie had brought – those days it was not easy at all to find chocolate in Dresden – she learned better, what Johann’s time off was supposed to mean. It was not much later that she witnessed him eat marguerites. To Johann it was all too much to take, he was not ready to face Annie, he needed the time on his own, only for him and the marguerites; he could not take anything more than that, even food.
He was too weak for feeling happy that Annie was finally there and there for him and for him only. He was too tired to talk to her, too sick to take a bite of her chocolate. All he needed was silence, to believe that the world can stop once in a while for him to catch up. He loved to take Annie in his arms and share his life and his world with her, but it was not the right time, he just could not.
Annie had already come a long way, she was not to stop now that she had finally found him and was by him, in his house and next to the marguerites. The time had arrived for Annie Anderson to learn patience, to her; it was as if she was testing her capabilities to run a family. For all what concerned Johann, Annie was there for she could no longer stand her need for a family and a home, where she could always turn to and be sure she would have a place of her own.
Hat was how Annie stayed with Johann much longer than Eva had estimated as she had given her the key; and how Johann learned little by little to have her by his side, even in his off time. It seemed impossible to make Johann eat or talk again in the first days; for he threw all what he ate up, except for marguerites. Annie knew that having a family needed great patience, especially if she was going to be the mother of this family, and she was practicing it. She made the impossible Johann response and react to her first, more as if she thought him so. It was not much easier for him. Johann had just begun his off time when Annie had interrupted, and now he was trying to learn to have his off time with Annie, he was taking great exhausting efforts to be able to enjoy Annie’s presence and was actually glad and even proud at how his marguerites could relate the two. In a week, he felt nothing to be righter than Annie being the new woman of his childhood house.
The two were both putting indeed much into this life, as much as they had to offer.