Scary Little New Story

This just occurred to me and I have really no idea who this new guy is or about the story behind these confused words:

There is this thing I never told you about... no matter how many times I really intended to go for it and come out clear I just could not. It is like every time I really make a go for it I suddenly find you standing right in front of me, as though you have been awaiting this moment all along. I try not to give it much though and just let pour out this burden but I fail as soon as I pick up the first word to say.

There is so much we should be talking about and the longer we wait, the higher grows this wall between us. So I tried, I tried so many times to shake any bridge inside this wall, yet in vain. I just do not have what it takes. My feet tremble and I stumble over my desires each time I make up my mind to cross that border and finally reach out to you. I hate this weakness.

I loathe this hesitation inside my head which keeps waiting and waiting, the one which has already started taking the world away from me. I know that I just would have to spill out the first words. It is funny how words can destroy so much so easily and how still nothing seems to built without them. When it comes to humans, they hold an unbeatable power, they are somehow unbeatable... after all, I am just another coward, even if it is the eerily immense power of words which I fear.

And still I can not ignore the fact for the rest of my days, that all will fall apart if we do not reach out to each other...

Do you sometimes feel how much I want you to ask me how I am doing?