the sea witch - complete
Back then I was just a kid of about 17 or 18, how could one ever have expected me to be able to figure out what was going on?
I never felt her changes as the whispers told. In fact, I never mentioned any changes except for her absentees; she was hardly to be found in family reunions the last year. Nickel believed I could not mention the changes because she has always been treating me differently, that there was no dark shadow on her face, when she looked at me.
And her father, well Gerhard has always been so silent that no one mentioned his deep anxiety for his daughter that very last year. Years later we finally figured out the reason why he was so intravagant, the secret he had kept from his family to protect them, the pain he suffered not to share with anyone.
And then suddenly, in an interval of a few months, everything happened. My father had a minor heart attack, so we moved back from Austria to Dresden – in Germany – for a while; so I heard the rumors about her for the first time: that Nina has turned to a mighty, scary witch. The rumor drove my attention to Jacque-Yves who was suddenly so terrified of Nina he even refused to say a word on why.
Nickel got herself in big trouble, I volunteered to help Jacque-Yves get her out alive and in return we made her quit her job for good and Jacque-Yves used the opportunity to make her life his own for good. Dietrich, Nina's brother in law, passed away in a plane crash leaving Erika and their two sons in grief.
And then Janis, my brother, broke up with his Austrian girlfriend and turned gay, which was ok except for his sudden urge for depression. As to me, I was suddenly amazed by Nina; I longed to see her, to bump into her, to hear from her or even to get to great her best friend on the street. I was turned – and I can not say it was just my curiosity – by the very fact that there has always been an excuse why she was not there, where I was. All over the 112 days we were staying at Dresden, I had not got the chance to meet her even once. What irritated me the most was that both my parents, Janis and Lidie, my younger sister, had all already met her several time, even Jacque-Yves could not avoid her presence despite his fear and his efforts.
And her father, well Gerhard has always been so silent that no one mentioned his deep anxiety for his daughter that very last year. Years later we finally figured out the reason why he was so intravagant, the secret he had kept from his family to protect them, the pain he suffered not to share with anyone.
And then suddenly, in an interval of a few months, everything happened. My father had a minor heart attack, so we moved back from Austria to Dresden – in Germany – for a while; so I heard the rumors about her for the first time: that Nina has turned to a mighty, scary witch. The rumor drove my attention to Jacque-Yves who was suddenly so terrified of Nina he even refused to say a word on why.
Nickel got herself in big trouble, I volunteered to help Jacque-Yves get her out alive and in return we made her quit her job for good and Jacque-Yves used the opportunity to make her life his own for good. Dietrich, Nina's brother in law, passed away in a plane crash leaving Erika and their two sons in grief.
And then Janis, my brother, broke up with his Austrian girlfriend and turned gay, which was ok except for his sudden urge for depression. As to me, I was suddenly amazed by Nina; I longed to see her, to bump into her, to hear from her or even to get to great her best friend on the street. I was turned – and I can not say it was just my curiosity – by the very fact that there has always been an excuse why she was not there, where I was. All over the 112 days we were staying at Dresden, I had not got the chance to meet her even once. What irritated me the most was that both my parents, Janis and Lidie, my younger sister, had all already met her several time, even Jacque-Yves could not avoid her presence despite his fear and his efforts.
But then she came one night, when everyone else was asleep including me. I suddenly opened my eyes and saw her there to my surprise, she was furious and the same time deeply sad. I could also see her loneliness and the long lasted fatigue in her body. It amazed me thousand times more than before.
In absolute silence I witnessed her efforts to do something most probably unpleasant, I saw her struggling with herself and I finally watched her fail. She looked down, with tears in her eyes, obviously disappointed at herself, angry or frightened I could not tell, cursing something or someone.
I never experienced anything like that night, as I felt a part of me leaving me and then a part of her getting inside me and vice versa, maybe it was what they call falling in love. I stepped out of my bed and hugged her.
In the morning, she was not gone! She had waited for me to get up. She looked at me and left without saying goodbye.
Later I figured out the reason to Jacque-Yves' fear must have been that I was her one and only failure in what ever she had been up to, when I found her in my room.
It was only two days later that the greater skin diver of Germany at the time, Gerhard Schwarzinger, lost his younger daughter, Nina. She was drowned. The corpse was not found, but some friends of hers had been filming their excursion on the river Elbe and it was seen with no doubt how she had drowned.
Gerhard himself – despite his habitual silence - seemed to be the only one to have a clue. Everyone remembered his warning to Nina saying she shall never get anywhere near water, and this was the first time Nina had dared to disobey him.
We all rushed to their place as soon as we heard the news, but yet too late to make any conversations with Gerhard for his heart decided to retire after making sure the warning had been of no use for his daughter.
I can not claim I was keen enough to follow the signs, it was really for the me in her and for the her in me that I felt like there was much more to this end, that Nina, to whom I belonged, was not gone. But following the eternal tradition of our family, according to which our youths are famous for their stupidity, I decided I had to believe the logic in the story: Nina was gone, there were no witches in the world, Jacque-Yves was a chicken boy and Gerhard had warned Nina for he disliked her or for he might have thought of her body as too week to handle any swimming action.
When we were back in Austria, I thought of everything as already taken care of. I started acting school, I made me plans like any other young boy, I fell in love with a woman, I moved in with her, some time later she gave birth to the loveliest little boy in the world, whom we named Warner.
What I neglected was that, the more I stepped away from Nina and her memories, the more I lost me, the rest of me left me gradually, till I was left only with that little of Nina I had in me. I left Austria and everything behind; they had all lost sense to me. Yet I refused to realize the source of my problems, I was emptied, I was sucked out, I was much more than exhusted.
Exactly this emptiness made me an excellent courier at Hollywood, for there is nothing better than an actor who has been totally emptied and tries to fill himself up with any character the director demands. I was shining at Hollywood while this deep dark hole was growing over me.
One night I dreamt of her, it was the most pleasant and peaceful moment I had experienced after a long long time. As I woke up in the morning, I found her black scarf in my hands.
Next day I was suddenly kind of waken up as I shouted at the co-star in attempt to say my dialogue, they said it was more of a loud roar. I myself fainted afterwards.
When I came to, I just wanted to talk to my friend Jacque-Yves who seemed to be surprisingly the only thing I still remembered of me.
I told him I needed to find Nina, no matter how unreasonable or scary this idea might look like. And then it began, the years I was damned to search the world running after her scent, wherever the wind blew it to my face, demonstrating my confusion to my only witnesses, Jacque-Yves and Nickel who have decided to accompany me on a journey which made me eligible for any crime, any evil, and any madness.
I never experienced anything like that night, as I felt a part of me leaving me and then a part of her getting inside me and vice versa, maybe it was what they call falling in love. I stepped out of my bed and hugged her.
In the morning, she was not gone! She had waited for me to get up. She looked at me and left without saying goodbye.
Later I figured out the reason to Jacque-Yves' fear must have been that I was her one and only failure in what ever she had been up to, when I found her in my room.
It was only two days later that the greater skin diver of Germany at the time, Gerhard Schwarzinger, lost his younger daughter, Nina. She was drowned. The corpse was not found, but some friends of hers had been filming their excursion on the river Elbe and it was seen with no doubt how she had drowned.
Gerhard himself – despite his habitual silence - seemed to be the only one to have a clue. Everyone remembered his warning to Nina saying she shall never get anywhere near water, and this was the first time Nina had dared to disobey him.
We all rushed to their place as soon as we heard the news, but yet too late to make any conversations with Gerhard for his heart decided to retire after making sure the warning had been of no use for his daughter.
I can not claim I was keen enough to follow the signs, it was really for the me in her and for the her in me that I felt like there was much more to this end, that Nina, to whom I belonged, was not gone. But following the eternal tradition of our family, according to which our youths are famous for their stupidity, I decided I had to believe the logic in the story: Nina was gone, there were no witches in the world, Jacque-Yves was a chicken boy and Gerhard had warned Nina for he disliked her or for he might have thought of her body as too week to handle any swimming action.
When we were back in Austria, I thought of everything as already taken care of. I started acting school, I made me plans like any other young boy, I fell in love with a woman, I moved in with her, some time later she gave birth to the loveliest little boy in the world, whom we named Warner.
What I neglected was that, the more I stepped away from Nina and her memories, the more I lost me, the rest of me left me gradually, till I was left only with that little of Nina I had in me. I left Austria and everything behind; they had all lost sense to me. Yet I refused to realize the source of my problems, I was emptied, I was sucked out, I was much more than exhusted.
Exactly this emptiness made me an excellent courier at Hollywood, for there is nothing better than an actor who has been totally emptied and tries to fill himself up with any character the director demands. I was shining at Hollywood while this deep dark hole was growing over me.
One night I dreamt of her, it was the most pleasant and peaceful moment I had experienced after a long long time. As I woke up in the morning, I found her black scarf in my hands.
Next day I was suddenly kind of waken up as I shouted at the co-star in attempt to say my dialogue, they said it was more of a loud roar. I myself fainted afterwards.
When I came to, I just wanted to talk to my friend Jacque-Yves who seemed to be surprisingly the only thing I still remembered of me.
I told him I needed to find Nina, no matter how unreasonable or scary this idea might look like. And then it began, the years I was damned to search the world running after her scent, wherever the wind blew it to my face, demonstrating my confusion to my only witnesses, Jacque-Yves and Nickel who have decided to accompany me on a journey which made me eligible for any crime, any evil, and any madness.
* * *
* * *
* * *
What should I say from all those days? I was far too lost to have had any real records of what was going on around me. But since I was absolute that Nickel and Jacques-Yves were mortals – which was really hard to conclude on Jacques-Yves, considering the fact that he was a dead man's son – I could still deduct that it must not have lasted that long, to have left both lovebirds enough time to marry after my adventures around the world.
I followed her over the world to Russia, where I saw her – in reality or dream I wonder – for the last time. It was there I found the key to her location, I had to head to Brazil, which in my case meant that Jacques-Yves and Nickel had no other choice but to get me there.
There she was, this time it was no hallucination, Nina was really in Brazil. In which city I finally reunited with her, with whom I had to make what kind of deal to get her, why she spoke so rarely or why and how she had ended up there, none even got to my mind by the time, for I was twice cursed.
On one hand I was doomed with Nina, sharing her curse, her planned destiny with me, as we have shared us with one another and on the other hand I was damned for my long lasting efforts to forget Nina, who had trusted me with a part of her.
We were finally together, which seemed logically impossible, because none of us was there, where the body seemed to be. I assume we must have got married and have lived a while together, I remember Warner's scared look at me and Nina's kind words to him; I remember Jacques-Yves and Nickel visiting us once in a while; I remember Jacques-Yves keeping talking to me; I remember Nickel being pregnant; I remember Warner going to school and then Nickel being pegnant again. But I can not remember anything of our life. I can not remember one single meal I had eaten or my parents' faces for they should have had changed over those years.
Next thing in my vague memory: we changed location, we lived in water, but there was some kind of strong band, we could never move much. Plus, I did not see Jacques-Yves and Nickel anymore; later I found out we had died without leaving any trace behind, in the papers they wrote that the Hollywood star had been killed due to snake sting.
I followed her over the world to Russia, where I saw her – in reality or dream I wonder – for the last time. It was there I found the key to her location, I had to head to Brazil, which in my case meant that Jacques-Yves and Nickel had no other choice but to get me there.
There she was, this time it was no hallucination, Nina was really in Brazil. In which city I finally reunited with her, with whom I had to make what kind of deal to get her, why she spoke so rarely or why and how she had ended up there, none even got to my mind by the time, for I was twice cursed.
On one hand I was doomed with Nina, sharing her curse, her planned destiny with me, as we have shared us with one another and on the other hand I was damned for my long lasting efforts to forget Nina, who had trusted me with a part of her.
We were finally together, which seemed logically impossible, because none of us was there, where the body seemed to be. I assume we must have got married and have lived a while together, I remember Warner's scared look at me and Nina's kind words to him; I remember Jacques-Yves and Nickel visiting us once in a while; I remember Jacques-Yves keeping talking to me; I remember Nickel being pregnant; I remember Warner going to school and then Nickel being pegnant again. But I can not remember anything of our life. I can not remember one single meal I had eaten or my parents' faces for they should have had changed over those years.
Next thing in my vague memory: we changed location, we lived in water, but there was some kind of strong band, we could never move much. Plus, I did not see Jacques-Yves and Nickel anymore; later I found out we had died without leaving any trace behind, in the papers they wrote that the Hollywood star had been killed due to snake sting.
* * *
* * *
* * *
I knew it lasted really really long time, but how long I can not really recall, for we did not have much encounter with the outside world during the time of our stay in the ocean. There were a few passersbies, most of whom as a matter of fact we knew, or at least we could recall whose children and grand children they were.
One really remarkable guy was a young boy who seemed to be in love with Warner's daughter, and seeked Nina's help to convince her. He was – frankly speaking – a strong guy. He had magnificent powers and seemed determined enough to me. I knew by the time that he was going to be revolutionary to his own world, where ever he belonged.
Although we were still confused and far from finding each other and ourselves, although the curse and the pain were sill as strong, although the days were too long and the ocean was too vast, we felt much better and much more at ease.
At least I can say I have clear memories from this time, I do remember the sun rising from the east and setting in the west, I remember the wind and the thunder, I remember starry nights and stormy days. I recall the natural life blooming all around us, I do recall the seasons, the four seasons in all their splendor and glamour, it would not surprise me to one day find out it was the same thing which relieved our pain over those centuries.
Nina believed it was Gerhard who had cursed us. All over those years we learned that Gerhard, on his time, had been a man of great influence and great power under the sea, all over meerlands. Any remembrance or thought on him or his time would be followed by respectful silence from old souls we met. And we both knew – every one was aware of it for Gerhard had declared it loud on Nina's very birthday – that Gerhard had forbidden it for Nina to get anywhere near water, which remained the only time in his life when he had mentioned her name.
Everyone knew Nina's birth was unexpected to Gerhard and against his will and it was just out of respect for his wife that he hadn't forced her to an abortion in the very first months of pregnancy. Nina could not remember her father having talked a word to her all over her short life and she was totally out of his attention, he even barely looked at her.
In fact, Nina did even look different from her two other siblings, Erika and Greg. She had the darkest skin in her family, black hair and what was really strange, brown eyes!
Her mother had to find special tricks to spend time with her, while Gerhard would take the two others swimming. Even if she did not hate her family, she still preferred to be isolated from the four, in order not to have to face the very fact why her father should hate her so much.
Then there came Nina's savior angel, her guardian and who gave her the love and attention she lacked. Nina was still an 8 year old kid as Friedrich Franz moved from Russia to Dresden with his half-French wife. He was a relative and a pretty much rational family friend. After 2 years of living in Dresden, his mother revealed to him that he was actually Gerhard's son whom they have adopted, for Gerhard knew nothing about his birth and his real mother had left him.
So naturally no one blamed Gerhard, for he had been just 16 himself by his birth, but this discovery ended up the best way for the 10 year old Nina. Now she had an older brother, who was, for the first time in her life, real family to her.
Friedrich dedicated a lot of time and attention to Nina and helped her discover herself. Hadn't it had been for him, no one would have discovered Nina's fascinating talent for art, her ravishing dance and marvelous drawings would have never come to realization. He gave Nina the feeling that she was loved and important, that she was also a sweet child.
So were also Nina's superpowers revealed for the first time. Nina could sense Friedrich's life. She would feel his happiness as well as his sadness and his worries. She would also know it in advance, whenever he was to be in danger, she would dream of it.
Frankly, Gerhard did not like Friedrich much either, but with his foster father, Johann, always being there for him, Friedrich did not even need Gerhard's fatherhood or compassion.
Every tiny fact about Nina's life did lead to the very point that Gerhard must have put the curse on her and eventually on both of us, yet we failed to figure out his reason for it. Our conclusion was as valid as our confusion, for at the time we did not know yet, that Gerhard had lived only a few hours after hearing from Nina getting drowned.
We were trapped in a world between the dead and the live, our notions and our knowledge was caged in the same prison as we were, ourselves, till the day came.
Although Nina was known and feared as the most powerful sea witch all over these years, I do not recall to have sensed greater power and greater magic than that of our little rescuer, Aya. She was the purest creature I ever encountered, as pure as intact nature and as innocent as sweet little wild flowers.
I remember feeling my heart beat again after ages, I remember being wounded and that nothing but red blood was flowing out of the injury. I remember feeling the warmth of Nina's body and blood next to me, I remember earth under our feet, I remember the glow in Ninas eyes, I remember our first real kiss, I remember craving for her scent, and I remember our laughter. It was unbelievable to be living again after such a long time of spiritual detention.
Later we found out that Aya was actually Jacques-Yves's daughter and that she was dead herself, by the time she broke the spell.
It was just impossible to believe she was actually dead.
But then we had to cope with more shocking reality than that. She told us that Gerhard had been the great king of the seven seas, that Nina's mentally handicapped father was the most ingenious king of all times and that his innovations had changed underwater life forever. But then, the keen king faces the problem of rising powers who demand independency. He would be forced to leave his beloved oceans and sent into exile, yet he would not have his total freedom, for there was still the fear from his return and from the heir to his throne since there were still many who demanded his reign.
Gerhard knew Nina was going to be the potential heir everyone wanted to assassinate, so he decides to keep it silent from everyone – including his wife – in a defensive act to save Nina's life and to draw least attention possible to her existence, which eventually did not work out and Nina was cursed by those who feared her return.
In fact, no one even suspected that Gerhard could be any sort of important or that he could afford complicated tasks such as ruling the seven seas or inventing anything. He was always too silent and no one had any clue about the reason for his silence, every one except his wife simply thought he was mentally retarded and as for her, she was convinced that this was the way he was.
Then Aya told us how splitting the kingdom had led into corruption and that it was high time they reunited again, for it was the only way to save the underwater world, I found it all just remarkable efforts for a dead person to try to fix up the live world.
Although the explanations relieved Nina a great deal, we decided we did not really want the complexicity or Nina's monarchy as the queen of the seven seas. We had waited a long time to be given the chance to finally live together, so Nina found someone else to replace her and we moved to a Brazilian village by the ocean, where we could quietly bring our newborn son Dieter up, who did not need to be cleared up about the past at all, for he was blesses by the marvelous Aya with the gift to live like a normal, healthy, happy fisherman's son.
May all possibly existing gods bless the little Aya!
One really remarkable guy was a young boy who seemed to be in love with Warner's daughter, and seeked Nina's help to convince her. He was – frankly speaking – a strong guy. He had magnificent powers and seemed determined enough to me. I knew by the time that he was going to be revolutionary to his own world, where ever he belonged.
Although we were still confused and far from finding each other and ourselves, although the curse and the pain were sill as strong, although the days were too long and the ocean was too vast, we felt much better and much more at ease.
At least I can say I have clear memories from this time, I do remember the sun rising from the east and setting in the west, I remember the wind and the thunder, I remember starry nights and stormy days. I recall the natural life blooming all around us, I do recall the seasons, the four seasons in all their splendor and glamour, it would not surprise me to one day find out it was the same thing which relieved our pain over those centuries.
Nina believed it was Gerhard who had cursed us. All over those years we learned that Gerhard, on his time, had been a man of great influence and great power under the sea, all over meerlands. Any remembrance or thought on him or his time would be followed by respectful silence from old souls we met. And we both knew – every one was aware of it for Gerhard had declared it loud on Nina's very birthday – that Gerhard had forbidden it for Nina to get anywhere near water, which remained the only time in his life when he had mentioned her name.
Everyone knew Nina's birth was unexpected to Gerhard and against his will and it was just out of respect for his wife that he hadn't forced her to an abortion in the very first months of pregnancy. Nina could not remember her father having talked a word to her all over her short life and she was totally out of his attention, he even barely looked at her.
In fact, Nina did even look different from her two other siblings, Erika and Greg. She had the darkest skin in her family, black hair and what was really strange, brown eyes!
Her mother had to find special tricks to spend time with her, while Gerhard would take the two others swimming. Even if she did not hate her family, she still preferred to be isolated from the four, in order not to have to face the very fact why her father should hate her so much.
Then there came Nina's savior angel, her guardian and who gave her the love and attention she lacked. Nina was still an 8 year old kid as Friedrich Franz moved from Russia to Dresden with his half-French wife. He was a relative and a pretty much rational family friend. After 2 years of living in Dresden, his mother revealed to him that he was actually Gerhard's son whom they have adopted, for Gerhard knew nothing about his birth and his real mother had left him.
So naturally no one blamed Gerhard, for he had been just 16 himself by his birth, but this discovery ended up the best way for the 10 year old Nina. Now she had an older brother, who was, for the first time in her life, real family to her.
Friedrich dedicated a lot of time and attention to Nina and helped her discover herself. Hadn't it had been for him, no one would have discovered Nina's fascinating talent for art, her ravishing dance and marvelous drawings would have never come to realization. He gave Nina the feeling that she was loved and important, that she was also a sweet child.
So were also Nina's superpowers revealed for the first time. Nina could sense Friedrich's life. She would feel his happiness as well as his sadness and his worries. She would also know it in advance, whenever he was to be in danger, she would dream of it.
Frankly, Gerhard did not like Friedrich much either, but with his foster father, Johann, always being there for him, Friedrich did not even need Gerhard's fatherhood or compassion.
Every tiny fact about Nina's life did lead to the very point that Gerhard must have put the curse on her and eventually on both of us, yet we failed to figure out his reason for it. Our conclusion was as valid as our confusion, for at the time we did not know yet, that Gerhard had lived only a few hours after hearing from Nina getting drowned.
We were trapped in a world between the dead and the live, our notions and our knowledge was caged in the same prison as we were, ourselves, till the day came.
Although Nina was known and feared as the most powerful sea witch all over these years, I do not recall to have sensed greater power and greater magic than that of our little rescuer, Aya. She was the purest creature I ever encountered, as pure as intact nature and as innocent as sweet little wild flowers.
I remember feeling my heart beat again after ages, I remember being wounded and that nothing but red blood was flowing out of the injury. I remember feeling the warmth of Nina's body and blood next to me, I remember earth under our feet, I remember the glow in Ninas eyes, I remember our first real kiss, I remember craving for her scent, and I remember our laughter. It was unbelievable to be living again after such a long time of spiritual detention.
Later we found out that Aya was actually Jacques-Yves's daughter and that she was dead herself, by the time she broke the spell.
It was just impossible to believe she was actually dead.
But then we had to cope with more shocking reality than that. She told us that Gerhard had been the great king of the seven seas, that Nina's mentally handicapped father was the most ingenious king of all times and that his innovations had changed underwater life forever. But then, the keen king faces the problem of rising powers who demand independency. He would be forced to leave his beloved oceans and sent into exile, yet he would not have his total freedom, for there was still the fear from his return and from the heir to his throne since there were still many who demanded his reign.
Gerhard knew Nina was going to be the potential heir everyone wanted to assassinate, so he decides to keep it silent from everyone – including his wife – in a defensive act to save Nina's life and to draw least attention possible to her existence, which eventually did not work out and Nina was cursed by those who feared her return.
In fact, no one even suspected that Gerhard could be any sort of important or that he could afford complicated tasks such as ruling the seven seas or inventing anything. He was always too silent and no one had any clue about the reason for his silence, every one except his wife simply thought he was mentally retarded and as for her, she was convinced that this was the way he was.
Then Aya told us how splitting the kingdom had led into corruption and that it was high time they reunited again, for it was the only way to save the underwater world, I found it all just remarkable efforts for a dead person to try to fix up the live world.
Although the explanations relieved Nina a great deal, we decided we did not really want the complexicity or Nina's monarchy as the queen of the seven seas. We had waited a long time to be given the chance to finally live together, so Nina found someone else to replace her and we moved to a Brazilian village by the ocean, where we could quietly bring our newborn son Dieter up, who did not need to be cleared up about the past at all, for he was blesses by the marvelous Aya with the gift to live like a normal, healthy, happy fisherman's son.
May all possibly existing gods bless the little Aya!
posted by Einhornin @ 2:13 AM
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